February 5, 2010

A Harborside Wedding - A Productive Cocktail Hour

Aaaah...the cocktail hour....

I love making sure that I use my time with friends and family wisely. Mr. Swan really wanted to attend our cocktail hour so that we could greet our guests, eat some of the great food we'd chosen for them, and enjoy the general good times. Our cocktail hour was what I like to call "productive". Here are some things that I did during our cocktail hour that not only made it productive, but most importantly FUN! Remember I've said it's totally necessary to have fun!

1. We greeted many of my guests especially those that I'd never met before.


2. I hugged friends both old and new... a lot.


3. I posed for pictures.


4. We made sure to get some laughs with our guests.


5. We watched our guests as they enjoyed themselves.


6. We took in some of the great sunny weather we had that day. Battery Gardens has a great patio area that was exclusively for our group.


7. We got our grub on with our guests. Well, actually, the Batterry Gardens folks set aside some food for Mr. Swan and me to make sure that we actually ate something before greeting everyone. Here's a sample of what our guests enjoyed (Did you think I was going to NOT show you food shots? Au contraire, mis amigos):

Lamb chops..I don't think I had one, but I heard that they were great.


Crab cakes, a classic favorite

A cheese station. Cheese is a must!

Our guests also got to chow down on a Mediterranean station with all the fixins'. Hummus, olives, baba ganoush, pita...oh my!

We had a relatively smaller wedding (compared to many) of only about 95 people, and I think we got to see almost all of our guests during the cocktail hour. I made sure I got the attention of some of the waiters to bring over some of the hors d' oeuvres. Um...hello! I was the one in the big white dress, so I figured they'd stop if I waved them over :) Yes, I know I am a bad bride, but I was HONGRY!

Yay for using our time during our cocktail hour wisely!

Swan Tip #12 - Another one of the most highly debated wedding issues: cocktail hour attendance. Attending was a great option for us. We got to spend even more time with our guests; enjoy the beautiful weather were were having that day; and eat. Who doesn't like eating? :) If you can find a way to attend even a small part of the cocktail hour, I highly recommend it.

All Images by Mr. Dante Williams, wedding paparazzo

How did we get to the cocktail hour already?!

Posted by Chic.Personal.Fun at 10:14 AM 0 comments
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February 3, 2010

A Harborside Wedding - The Meaning of It All (A Vow & a Ring Exchange), Part II

So here we were ready to make our vows to each other. As I mentioned before, we did both traditional vows as well as wrote vows to each other.


Rev. Dease first asked Mr. Swan to repeat after her:

"I, Mr. Swan, take you, Miss Swan, to be my wife, to live with you and to love from this time forward until death separates us. I promise to be understanding, forgiving, and seeking of your happiness as we grow together in God’s grace."

Then it was my turn:

"I, Miss Swan, take you, Mr. Swan, to be my husband to live with you and to love from this time forward until death separates us. I promise to be understanding, forgiving, and seeking of your happiness as we grow together in God’s grace."

It was finally time for the part of the ceremony that I was looking forward to the most: hearing Mr. Swan's vows. Here they are:

"Miss Swan, when you accepted my proposal 364 days ago by the Brooklyn Bridge you made me an extremely happy man. That happiness is only surpassed by the way I feel today as we have reached the moment of our marriage. I knew I loved you deeply based on the amount I missed you and your loving smile the first time we spent a week apart early in our relationship almost 4 years ago. And later in our relationship, I knew I wanted to marry you after visiting Ireland together in 2007. In fact, several of the old Irish guys we met in the pubs said to me if I did not put a ring on your finger that an Irishman would. My love for you and desire for you to be my wife has grown only stronger every day since. I feel so fortunate that you have chosen to share your love and your life with me. I am honored to have you as my best friend, the future mother of my children, and the one I get to grow old with. I promise to love you, laugh with you, honor you, care for you, and be faithful to you for the rest of our lives."

Okay, so I had done a pretty good job on keeping my composure, but it just wasn't working. I had the scary cry face going on, and I just couldn't hold it together as Mr. Swan spoke.

It was my turn to speak to Mr. Swan. Well, I kinda ad-libbed the first part. I mentioned that fact that I was never sure if I would get married, I did a lot of prayer and reflection about who I wanted to be with. I told him that he was more than I could ever imagine I could want or need in my partner. Here's the written portion:

"Mr. Swan, thank you for believing in me when I did and for supporting me through the ups and downs of life. Thank you for being someone that I respect and admire. Thank you for accepting me as I am. I promise to enjoy the sweet, sour, joyful and painful parts of life with you. I promise to be intentional in my love for you as it is only with purpose that we can only love each other fully. I will trust you, respect you, laugh with you, and cry with you loving you faithfully through good times and bad. I give you my heart and my love from this day forward."

I kinda held it together this time around. I recovered as I spoke because I really wanted to say these words to Mr. Swan in a clear and strong way.


We then exchanged rings after we each repeated this to each other: "I give you this ring to wear as a sign of my promise to love and grow with you."

There was one problem though. Mr. Swan had decided to forget which hand was my left one. You see I had confused him by putting my engagement ring on my right hand. No, Mr. Swan, it's your other left! :)


After a brief prayer, Rev. Dease said...

"For as much as Mr. Swan and Miss Swan have exchanged promises of mutual love and have professed before those of us gathered here that they will live together as understanding, mature persons in God’s sight and by the authority committed unto me as a Minister of the Gospel, I now declare that they are husband and wife in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen. You may kiss your bride!"

Mr. Swan liked this part. :)


We turned around to face our guests, and we were announced as Mr. & Mrs. Swan!

And we were off!

Yes, Mr. Swan. We did it!

Swan Tip #11 - This is most definitely a personal choice, but I really love the fact that Mr. Swan and I were able to write vows to each other. Even if you can't include this in your ceremony, I think it's great to be able to share how you feel about each other in your own words at some point in the day.

All Images by the very talented Dante Williams

Posted by Chic.Personal.Fun at 5:28 PM 2 comments
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February 2, 2010

A Harborside Wedding - The Meaning of It All (or a Ceremony Begins), Part I

So let me set the scene for you:

We had beautiful, sunny morning in Battery Park.
We had FINALLY made it down the aisle.

It was time to start what I like to think of as the crux of the wedding, 'cause if there ain't no vows, there ain't no party. Word.

We had a very simple, relatively traditional ceremony, and I liked it that way. The simple theme seems to be a constant throughout my wedding story, I guess.

After the invocation, we opened with two Bible passages that were read by my goddaughter. She's such a sweetie and really the first person in my life that I have watched grow up. I remember when she was born, holding her as a baby, tickling her as a little girl, and now she'll turn 14 the end of this month. I'm getting old.... :)


She read the now 'bee popular passage from Ruth (Ruth 1:16) that Mrs. Lamb wrote about as well as Mrs. Cheese. I love it because of the picture it paints of a committed married life (even though Ruth didn't say this to her future husband, Boaz). We were asked to pick a second passage from the New Testament, which I have to admit was a bit harder. We chose Romans: 9-13:

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." (New International Version)

I liked this passage because of the suggestions it had for living your life in general and not just being married. I hope that I can be patient, hospitable and sincere not just to Mr. Swan but to my friends, family and to others I meet through life.

Rev. Dease asked us the following question:
"Mr. Swan, will you have Miss Swan to be your wife, to live with her, respect her, and love her as God intends with the promise of faithfulness, tenderness, and helpfulness, as long as you both shall live?"

Don't worry he said yes! :) Then it was my turn to promise the same thing:

"Miss Swan, will you have Mr. Swan to be your husband, to live with him, respect him, and love him as God intends with the promise of faithfulness, tenderness, and helpfulness, as long as you both shall live?"


Rev. Dease then asked our families and guests to get involved by asking them for their love and support to us throughout our marriage. She delivered a brief message about marriage and provided some words of encouragement to me and Mr. Swan.

Finally we were ready for our vows!! But that's for another post.

Swan Tip #10 - For me, the ceremony is really the meaning of it all. Without the bond between you and your partner, there really is no wedding. Pick readings that fit well with the tone of your ceremony and what you want your marriage (and maybe your life) to embody. For some of you it may be a religious text. For others of you it may be cool passages like Mrs. Mouse's Alice Walker poem or Mrs. Star's excerpt from Madeleine L'Engel's work. Words have meaning and power. I hope your ceremony will reflect your future hopes for your marriage.

What kinds of readings are you including or did you include in your ceremony?

All Images by Dante Williams

Did you miss anything?!

Posted by Chic.Personal.Fun at 3:47 PM 1 comments
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January 28, 2010

A Harborside Wedding - Our "Other Guests"

Before I begin to talk about our ceremony, I want to tell you a little bit about our "other" guests. Who are they? Well "they're the people that you meet when you're walking down the street each day." (Thank you, Sesame Street!)

No seriously...as a New Yorker, I'm used to doing everything "on the street". The notion of public space is real to me. I've done darn near everything out in the open or on a sidewalk (um...well...not EVERYTHING, but you know...): I eat and buy food on the street; I stumble onto to street fairs almost every weekend in the summer; and I buy clothes on the street (my favorite summer dress for years was one that I bought, guess where? On the street!!). You get the idea.

When it came to our wedding, I guess I didn't really think about the fact that it would end up being super public in the middle of a very touristy park on a Saturday morning/early afternoon with perfect weather. I guess subconsciously I just I didn't mind or rather put it out of my mind. I saw our wedding ceremony as a public declaration of my love and commitment to Mr. Swan. It ended up being that in the literal sense of the word "public." In that way, I wasn't fazed that the only separation between us and passersby in Battery Park was essentially a barrier that our venue, Battery Gardens, had provided. We had guests that I hadn't anticipated, but I was more than happy to share our loving words and promises of commitment with them too.

Our first run in with our "other guests" came before we even had our ceremony. During our mini-photoshoot, a lovely Italian family of tourists noticed us. In between the daughters' and the mother's squeals, shooting us begging puppy dog eyes and yelling "Sposa! Sposa!" (Italian speakers, I assume this means "bride"?), Mr. Swan and I gave them a look that said, "Okay, sure. You can take a picture with us." Besides, the Dad was wearing one of our wedding colors. It was serendipitous!

Wherever you are, Italian family, I hope we made the final cut in your vacation album.

Little did we know that our Italian friends were not the norm, and that most of our "other guests" would decide to join us at our ceremony. I was honestly too caught up in the moment to notice them when I was walking down the aisle and finally reached the end, but apparently they were there for that too.

There was definitely a point in the ceremony where I broke concentration, looked up and noticed a guy videotaping the ceremony. Now come on! Are you really going to watch the video of my ceremony when you get home, brotha man?! I barely even have a video of my ceremony (It's on a friend's video camera, and we haven't seen it.). I gave myself a mental kick in the pants, reminded myself that I was actually getting married and refocused. Geesh....

So how many "other guests" did we actually attract? Take a look!



Everybody wanted a picture. Who knew that people found weddings this fascinating? It was like having our own paparazzi. I don't know who this guy is, but this may be one of my top 20 favorite pictures Dante, our photographer, took for us.
Luckily for us everyone who ended up watching our ceremony was so quiet and respectful. There was barely a peep, which is why I probably didn't realize how many people had stopped to look. Well, actually that's not true. Mr. Swan's Uncle V. did tell us one story. Apparently during our vows, he heard someone softly crying. I guess they were feeling the love in the ceremony. He looked around and couldn't figure out who it could be. It turns out that one of our "other guests" was moved to tears. How sweet :)

So there you have it. I shared my wedding day not only with family and friends but also with some of my other favorite people.....my fellow New Yorkers (and tourists from around the world), my "other guests."

Is anyone else having/had their ceremony in very public place? Would you mind sharing this moment in time with non-family and friends?

Swan Tip #9 - Everybody loves a wedding. There are going to be people you don't expect who will love yours too.

All images taken with the foresight and artistic flair of Dante Williams. D, thanks for taking these!

So what happened before this? Check it out:

Posted by Chic.Personal.Fun at 12:15 AM 2 comments
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January 24, 2010

A Harborside Wedding - We Shall Proceed....

and continue to rock the mike! That's a hip hop reference. Anyone? Anyone? I haven't hit you with one of those in awhile :)

It was time to make the grand entrance into our ceremony. I felt a little bad that we let our guests wait a little in the bright morning sun. We had orange hand fans for them to beat the sun.


Before we get to our processional, I want to say a few words about our ceremony music. As I've mentioned before, I am from the Caribbean and was searching for a way to incorporate that into our wedding. Being from the English-speaking Caribbean, there aren't necessarily different traditions associated with weddings (at least none that I could think of...although there are some great cakes, but I digress.). What better way to incorporate a little Caribbean culture than a steel band? Mr. Swan told me yesterday that when I said I was getting steel drummers to play our ceremony, he thought it was going to be a couple of dudes kinda doing their thing. Nope!


I was really happy to have the Grace Steel Ensemble there because they all go the church that I attended growing up. Of course when I went there, they didn't have this. Bummer.. :( They play both secular and religious music, so it worked out well as they have a variety of songs in their repertoire. For our procession, I had them play Bach's Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring.

First out of the gate was our minister, Rev. Dease.

Then Mr. Swan made his last walk a single man.


MIL and FIL Swan came next.

They took their place next to Mr. Swan, Rev. Dease and BIL and SIL Swan who were already standing at the front.
Since we didn't have a wedding party, we decided to have our immediate family stand up with us. In a way, I really like this idea because it emphasized the joining of our two families.


Then it was my turn with Mommy Swan. Mommy Swan made sure that we waited a bit after the IL Swans made their entrance. Something about dramatic effect..um, okay :)


One thing that I didn't realize was how weird it was to walk down the aisle. Err...come again, Mrs. S? Yes, indeed. No one tells you that it feels kinda odd getting stared at. I mean, I knew I was getting married, but did everybody have to look at me :) ? I usually don't feel odd being the center of attention but walking down the aisle definitely was one of those times.

Also nobody told me the aisle runner would bunch up like that. Oops!

When we made it to the end of the aisle, Rev. Dease began with a short invocation.
We also did the whole "presentation"/"giving away" thing. Not my thing and not my style. I fought back and lost this one. Oh well.

I turned to give Mommy Swan a hug. It was finally time to let go.

And there you have it.....Mr. Swan and I were FINALLY ready to get married.

Swan Tip #8 - There will be traditions that actually might end up a part of your ceremony and reception that you're not going to like. Know when to push back and when to let go.

All Images by Dante Williams

Miss something? Here are past recaps:

Posted by Chic.Personal.Fun at 11:40 PM 0 comments
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January 20, 2010

A Harborside Wedding - Gearing Up

At this point, I should probably introduce some people that will be in a whole lotta pictures going forward. I present to you, La Familia Swan.

From left to right: SIL Swan, BIL Swan (Mr. Swan's brother), Mommy Swan, I think you know what we look like now; MIL Swan and FIL Swan. There is a Daddy Swan, but he didn't make it. That's another post.

After our little mini-photoshoot, we finally made it to Battery Gardens to meet up with the family, take some portraits, and take a breather before the ceremony started. We decided to take care of a little bit of important business: getting all the proper signatures for the marriage license. I figured we should make sure that we are actually married after all that planning, ya know?

BIL Swan started off.

Mommy Swan was our other witness and signed next.

Mr. Swan and I realized that we actually had to sign too! Oh, that's right....

Mommy Swan was looking at our small present to our mothers: a framed copy of one of our engagement pictures. Yeah, un poco narcissistic? Maybe. I think they appreciated them though. The woman dressed in the robes is Rev. Dease, our minister. I loved the fact that we had a female minster marry us.

By the way, these pictures are in the "bridal suite" of sorts that Battery Gardens, our venue, set up for us. It's a partitioned area of their main floor. It's a nice space and pretty comfortable for our very small group. They also had lots of goodies for us too.


Then we waited........



I will say that we started late. On purpose! With our late morning start, we figured that we would give folks some extra time to get there. Also we were missing some members of my family, especially one who was going to do our ceremony readings. After lots of slightly frantic phone calls and parking mishaps, we got them there! Unfortunately, that was after I had small crying fit. Yes. I cried. Miss "Don't Stress About Your Wedding" had a moment. I guess it was inevitable, right? It lasted for five minutes, but I still had my meltdown. Luckily, in the middle, I got it together and stopped crying; and yes, it was in part because I thought I was going to jack up my makeup :) No seriously, just as we decided to start the missing family arrived and got seated. Crisis averted.

Swan Tip #7 - I'm going to dispense some tough love: Everything is not going to go smoothly on your wedding day. If you have to break down, it's okay. When that starts, just listen to Mrs. Swan's voice in your head, "There's no wallowing at weddings!" (There's no crying in baseball either, just in case you were wondering.) :)

Posted by Chic.Personal.Fun at 10:18 PM 0 comments
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January 17, 2010

A Harborside Wedding - Just the Two of Us


Mr. Swan and I were finally together and used some time before the ceremony to have a mini-photoshoot. We got a chance to take lots of purty pictures of ourselves. I wasn't sure if we ended up with enough. Actually how much is enough really? I've been going back and forth about this. As much as I love wedding photography (and Dante, my photographer), I didn't want our wedding day to turn into too much of a photoshoot. I guess since we did do our photos before the ceremony and since we had a late morning start, there was really only so much time we could spend in front of the camera. Sometimes I wonder if we should have taken more pictures, but I feel like we did enough. I know Mr. Swan's patience can be a little um....short...and I think we might have reached his limit anyway. This post contains some of my favorite pics of the two of us.

We mosied down the promenade in Battery Park and figured we'd just let things unfold from there.


It was such a clear morning that you could see the Statue of Liberty pretty easily.



After a few moments on the promenade we looked for a little more shade.



There is this cute little contraption (for lack of a better word) in the park that makes chiming noises when you step on it. I had a little fun with it. I guess I had a lot of energy that morning. :)



Then we switched into fashion shoot mode.



Being so close to Lady Liberty, we just had to take a picture with her. :)

Swan Tip #6 - Our wedding photoshoot was fun. While I agree it's important to have pictures of the two of you, your bridal party, etc., just make sure that you use your time wisely with your photographer as well as make sure that you stick to a timeline to keep the events of the day moving.

All Images by the wonderful Dante Williams

Need a refresher? Check out past recap posts:
Posted by Chic.Personal.Fun at 4:54 PM 0 comments
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