July 31, 2009

Fighting with My Body

With the wedding days away, I've had two nights in a row of insomnia. The problem is that it's not just the wedding on my mind: I've got this tricky career move decision I'm mulling over; Mr. Swan has all of a sudden gotten a flurry of interviews (YAY!!!); and work travel keeps flaring up again even though it was supposed to stop over a month ago (I am technically scheduled to be away for a day two days before the wedding, but it's not clear. I am NOT happy).

This isn't a new pattern for me though. Whenever there are big life changes around the corner, or if I am in the midst of major change, my mind races and sleep goes out the window. What's annoying is that this actually makes me extra emotional and more prone to freak out. At the very least I'm eating well and actually exercising, but sleep would be nice.

When wedding stress reaches its highest levels for you, does your body react? How do you deal with it? Are there any other bride insomniacs out there?

July 30, 2009

Bacheloretting in Brooklyn - Release (Part 3 )

We'd relaxed at the spa, ate good food, and then we proceeded to partake in the ever popular dance portion of the bachelorette party. You all know I love to dance, so I didn't mind this part of the evening at all except for the fact that all of us were yawning by the end of dinner. :) I guess this is what happens when you reach the 30+ age range? We all definitely joked about the fact that we were all little shells of our former partying selves to some extent. Therefore, the car ride over to Williamsburg, Brooklyn consisted of opening windows for some fresh air to keep us awake and calling each other out for yawning. :)

Of course by the time we got to Bembe in Williamsburg and the music hit us, were were okay. Bembe primarily plays a mix of Latin music (I guess we had to keep the Latin theme running) so there was steady mix of salsa, samba and merengue with some dance classics thrown in for good measure. I have not been out dancing in a LOOONNNGG time, but somehow remembered how to dance. :)

A mojito on the dancefloor

Ike and I tearing it up. Go, Ike!

Being an old fogey, I proclaimed the night over at 1:30am (we started at 3pm, so it was time to get some beauty rest).

I feel like dancing is the universal element in a bachelorette party, but maybe I'm wrong. Did anyone NOT have dancing as part of their bachelorette event or is it just such a traditional element that you couldn't give it up?

July 28, 2009

Bacheloretting in Brooklyn - Relate (Part 2)

After getting super relaxed at the spa, the ladies and I were ready to get our grub on. We walked a few blocks away to Luz, a Pan Latin restaurant. I've been to Luz before and really enjoyed the meal, so I was definitely excited to come back. We started off with some great appetizers consisting of amazing arepas (sweet corn and cheese cakes more like fritters), a trio of ceviches (my favorite being the langosta passion: lobster, passion fruit, mango citrus sauce and aji amarillo). Between those and a great caipirinha (Brazilian rum, muddled limes and sugar), I was feeling pretty darn good. 

We had a great time over dinner. The wonderful thing about my group of friends is that they got along and had lively, engaging conversation even though they didn't all know each other well.  It was so nice to catch up with them since a couple in the group actually don't live in NYC. I was so grateful that they'd made the trip. One thing my bachelorette made me realize is that while I have a small group of friends, they are an amazing group of women. Our time together that night made me appreciate them even more for the interesting, sweet women they are. I guess the quality versus quantity saying is pretty true. 

Here's Ike and Mitts (not their real names and I wish they both lived in NYC)

Here I am with Special K, my bachelorette party planning extraordinaire.

We got our main courses and were really excited to eat our meals. Two of us got the San Pedro which included a banana leaf-wrapped tilapia with lemograss-coconut sauce, mofongo (a Latin Caribbean dish of mashed fried green plantain often mixed with the meat, fish or vegetables; in our case it was shrimp..I think) and charred string beans. 

I had the Quinoto, which consisted of grilled jumbo shrimp, quinoa with something in it that made it taste amazing (I should have asked) and grilled asparagus.

We had great desserts that included a molten chocolate cake and a lovely guava tart with cheese ice cream. 

For me, good food and good conversation is my kind of celebration. 

Did you include a nice meal as part of your bachelorette event? 

July 26, 2009

Bacheloretting in Brooklyn - Relax (Part 1)

When I wrote about having a bachelorette party way back when, I didn't think I would actually have one. I am not into particularly "bride-y" things, and the idea of penis pops, a tiara and boa didn't sound fun to me. I will admit though I love watching ladies out on bachelorette parties at night doing those things. :) I really just wanted to have a nice, low-key evening with my friends especially since my girl time has been in pretty short supply lately. 

After writing my post, I got a great suggestion from Weddingbee reader, Jenny. I'm gonna have to make a special Shout Out to her because she recommended that I check out Body by Brooklyn. It's a new spa in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn not too far away from my apartment.

I loved the idea of their private room for my ladies to chill out. In addition to the private room you also have access to their wet lounge/sauna area with two types of saunas, a jacuzzi and a plunge pool. My primary motivation for going there was that I wanted us to have a private space (plus if I can make people come out to Brooklyn I will...hee hee!!)  I think what sets it apart is the fact that they have a bar. You can even have brunch there! (Although it's my understanding that Great Jones Spa in Greenwich Village has one too). We didn't really have the food except for the snacks they gave us, which weere alright by me. It consisted of great cheese, grilled veggies, crackers, strawberries, petit fours and some sparkly wine...YUM!

Since I don't have a bridal party, I got the help of my friend Special K to organize everyone. We had some last minute cancellations due to people having to travel for business, etc. but I was fine with our very small group. 

Here we are settling into the room. My friend, Becks (not her real name) is trying out the flat screen. 

Pretty much it was a whole lotta girl talk. My friend, Ike (not her real name either), was telling a pretty funny story here. I don't think I want to retell it. After  awhile, I was told that I was being whisked away to get massage, which was a special treat from the ladies. I have been so busy with things I completely forgot that I was going to a spa and didn't book anything for myself! I was pretty grateful to say the least. 

After my lovely massage, we played a brief game. I couldn't believe that I could not answer some of the questions that were asked about Mr. Swan. Oops! It's good to know that you love your Mom's pumpkin pie, honey. Have you mentioned this before, Mr. Swan?

I also got to open some gifts. Since I don't want to get Mrs. Bee in trouble and change the nature of this site, I won't divulge what I got. 

Yeah..I'll keep that to myself. 

Anyway, we had a nice time, and I was glad to incorporate some quiet downtime with the ladies. 

Up next: some darn good food 'cause it ain't a night out without a good meal. Do you expect anything less from me? :)

Did anyone incorporate a spa experience into their bachelorette event?  

July 24, 2009

A Tale of a Hair Trial - The Rough Draft (Part 1)

For a variety of reasons I'm just getting around to having my initial hair trials. My hairstylist and I call this the "rough draft" in part because my hair is in a bit of a state. It's about time for me to get my hair did, and so there is a lot of growth at the roots. I'll explain this at some point, but just know that you really can't get the full effect of my hair when it's in its "frizzy/needs to be attended to" stage. 

After lots of thought regarding logistics, I decided I wanted to not curl my hair but to instead keep it straight and wear it up. As I mentioned before, my hair takes about two to three hours to just to do the basics. If I had it curled, it would definitely add an hour. Since we're having a late morning wedding and  hoping to do some pictures beforehand, I'm not waking up at 3am. Heck to nah, y'all! Plus we've for our welcome drinks that I mentioned before, so Friday night is out in terms of getting a hair appointment then. Right now the plan is to split things up by getting my hair washed and retwisted the day before and then getting my hair pinned up in the morning bright and early. 

So shall we begin? After looking at some of my inspiration photos again I narrowed it down to  couple that I thought would work best. 

Here's contestant #1


 I love Sanaa Lathan (and so does Mr. Swan..ahem!) My stylist said that she could recreate styles with straightened hair, which she did. So here's the rough draft:

Not a bad replica I think. You can see the frizzies, huh? I liked it but was not sure. I then added the veil...

Before I show you, I should let you know that I have not become one with my veil. Yes, it's a Kasia Fink original (thanks, Mrs. Sea Breeze) and while lovely, I'm definitely trying to make sure that I'm putting it on correctly in part because my hair doesn't necessarily take to most hairpieces. There's a reason why I don't wear many things in my hair. I love my veil (thanks again), but in general I find things that can actually be inserted in my hair  can be hard to find, and I had to be careful about choosing things with certain types of clips. I always e-mailed any hairpiece seller beforehand to ask what kind of clip was attached to the piece.

Anyway, here's the first style with the veil. 

That little fascinator looking thing on the top is actually a headpiece from Portobello. My stylist kinda just stuck it in there. I had not intended to wear the veil and the fascinator/headpiece together, but maybe I will. What do you think? 

Here's contestant #2

Let me say that this is the style that has captured my attention since I first saw it. 

I'm pleased with the result, and I am leaning towards this. Here's the real life trial version:

Hopefully the right side will look a little better the second time around. 

I didn't do a very good job  with the veil this time around. Here's this style with the veil:

The fascinator/headpiece is in a funky place too. Hmm....I'll need to work on that. I plan on becoming one with the veil if it kills me. I wasn't sure how I felt about the placement, and I think it's going to require me playing around with it. 

I went home and put on the headpiece without the veil to see how that looked. I liked it. I was thinking about just wearing the headpiece during the reception. I think I'll be veil-less for that part of the wedding.

I think that the clip on the headpiece works pretty well with my hair. It's an alligator clip. 

Anyway, that's it. Like I said, it's a good beginning. I will be going back for a more full run through that will include actually washing and retwisting my hair. I think some of you are probably wondering how that all works, so I will maybe show you how.

Did you have multiple hair trials? What was the hair trial process like for you? 

July 22, 2009

Mini-Moonin' It

As I am sure that I mentioned before, we're not really sure if and when we'll be taking a full-fledged honeymoon. Between lack of ample vacation time for me and no job yet for the Mr., we're still hoping that we can find our way overseas for an adventure and some relaxation sometime soon in the future. Instead we'll be taking some time away after the wedding to Newport, Rhode Island. Why Newport? Well it's got the makings for an easy and low-cost mini-moon since it's Mr. Swan's home state. Here's why:

1) a free place to stay in Mr. Swan's family apartment house there (don't worry they don't live there too. They live in a separate town.);

2) we can borrow one of the family cars;

3) Newport is not that far of a drive from NYC, and we'll be driving there with the FFIL and FMIL Swan the day after the wedding; 

4) Plus it looks like this in the summer time:

I will admit to you that I was not very excited that Mr. Swan suggested we even go to Newport. For one, in addition to being Miss Swan, I like to also think of myself as Miss Adventure. I'd already been to Newport for an afternoon with him, so I kinda figured that maybe we wouldn't have much left to see. Also going to Rhode Island is not really all that new for me, since I've been going there to visit friends who lived there for years even before I'd met Mr. Swan. To me, it was just going to be another trip to Rhodey (Rhode Island brides, please forgive me!).

Anyway, I recently started to research our trip, and I've actually started to get really excited about some of the things we'll be able to do there. For one, we'll get to see fabulous homes.

Of course one of the most well-known aspects of a visit to Newport is the collection of gorgeous mansions. You can take tours of these old stately homes that have been restored to their former glory.  These "summer cottages" (yeah, y'all these are just the summer homes) were built by wealthy and prominent families like the Vanderbilts. I think I'll enjoy a little history lesson on our trip. 

Newport also has wonderful restaurants especially those featuring fresh seafood. I actually went to the one pictured above my first time in Newport. They've got really good chowder. I'm marrying a born and raised New Englander, so I better like me some chowder. :)  

Newport is also known for its harbor and its sailing activities. Some consider it the sailing capital of the U.S. (maybe even the world) because it's hosted the America's Cup sailing race so many times. Mr. Swan wants to take a harbor cruise for the first time since he was a kid.  He spent most of his childhood years on a boat in the summer time especially around the Newport area, so it will be fun to be able to share this experience with him. 

Unfortunately, we will miss the Newport Jazz Festival again this year. It's too bad because I'd love to see (or hear, I guess) Chaka Khan, Branford Marsalis and even Tony Bennett. Maybe next year!

Are you mini-moonin' it too? Where are you going, and what aspects of your trip are you looking forward to?  

Also does anyone have any Newport recs for me? I know Mr. Swan is a native, but it's always cool to hear others' picks. Thanks in advance!

July 20, 2009

Dear Old Dad

Steve Martin is not my Dad, but he's seems like such a sweetie in this movie.

I've never seen "Father of the Bride", and I should not be admitting that as a wedding blogger, should I? :)

I don't really know how to begin this post as it is intensely personal for me. My relationship with my Dad is not really a strong one. While my Dad is a nice guy, we are not close. He has not played a major role in my life. He and Mommy Swan never got married, and Mommy Swan has been my parent, both mother and father. 

I have always been pretty nonchalant about my Dad and our relationship. We speak several times throughout the year, but I would not say that I share my hopes, fears and dreams with him. I don't call him when I need a shoulder to cry on; our conversations are pretty much about regular everyday things. It also doesn't help that he lives in the Caribbean, so there is a certain amount of physical distance between the two of us that already adds to the distance in our relationship. 

When it comes to wedding planning, I have always been a bit jealous of brides who gush about having their fathers walk them down the aisle and can't wait to have the father/daughter dance at the wedding. That's not necessarily me. It's been hard trying to figure out how to walk a fine line between wanting to include my Dad out of respect and wanting to also recognize that our relationship is not necessarily a traditional one. It's made for some planning conundrums for me. Does my Dad walk me down the aisle with Mommy Swan? Does he stand with Mommy Swan as the rest of our immediate families will during the ceremony? Do we do a father/daughter dance with the requisite tender emotional song?  All of this got to me so much that I kinda broke down and cried visiting Mommy Swan one afternoon. 

There's already so much emotion fraught with weddings because it is so public. I usually don't have to display my relationship with my Dad for all to see and now I do. How have I decided to handle this?  Well, my Dad lives in the Caribbean, so it's still not clear that he will make it to the wedding. We're hoping so. The plan is that he'll walk me down the aisle with my Mom, and we'll have a parent dance together with Mr. Swan and FMIL Swan. I think this will be a good way of incorporating him into the wedding in a way that I'll feel comfortable. 

Have interesting family dynamics influenced your wedding planning?

July 19, 2009

Sweets for the Sweet

The idea of incorporating cupcakes into our reception meal has evolved throughout our wedding planning process. At first, I decided that we'd have cupcakes from one of the local bakeries that specializes in Red Velvet cake here in Brooklyn. I LOOOOOVEE Red Velvet cake. I'm not even a huge sweets person, but I crave this particular bakery's huge slices of Red Velvet on the regular. 

Then I thought about the fact that not everybody likes Red Velvet. What to do? Luckily, one day I was taking a break from reading wedding blogs (I advise that once in awhile), and  I read about Kumquat Cupcakery again.  I say again because in my Brooklyn/foodie blog reading of the past, I had heard of the founder, Keavy Landreth's wonderful mini-cupcake creations. 

She and/or her cupcakes can usually be found at the Brooklyn Flea, a really great weekend market not to far from my apartment. I decided to stalk the cupcakes one Saturday at my first time at the market, and I was NOT disappointed. I was blown away by her Red Velvet mini-cupcake. What's great about Keavy's cupcakes are that they are bite-size (or I guess two-bite size)  and come in a wide array of flavors. Not only that, she also takes great care with presentation, so the cupcakes not only taste great but look great. 

We had a chance to have a tasting with Keavy this past weekend to taste some of the other flavors that I've intially chosen for the wedding. Here they are:

Let's start with the simple yet tasty vanilla cake with vanilla frosting. Sometimes things are best when they're simple. And yes, the cupcakes are that small. 

Chocolate raspeberry. The mix of the fresh creme, raspberry and chocolate was wonderful. This is one of Keavy's specialty cupcakes.

Banana cake with light cream cheese frosting and carmelized banana.

Strawberry cake with a little piece of strawberry for the top

The ever classic Red Velvet

Orange Poppyseed. I'm not a big fan or orange flavor, but this made me a believer.

We figure that with these variety of flavors, everyone will find something that they can enjoy and perhaps try something new. 

Are you having special flavors for your cake? How did you decide which flavors to choose?

July 14, 2009

Project RSVP

Our RSVP deadline has come and gone. We are still waiting for people to get back to us about whether or not they're coming to the wedding to the point where I have dubbed the past few days "Project RSVP. "

No paper RSVPs for us, but you get the point.

I've tried Facebook, Gmail, Yahoo and even sicced Mommy Swan on a few in an effort to a get straight answer. Some people have been apologetic and disappointed (at least their e-mails conveyed that). Others not so much. Hmm....

It's been interesting to see who RSVPS, who doesn't, when and how. Most of the late RSVPs have come in the following catergories some of which are surprising:

1) Couples with kids - This is primarily Mr. Swan's domain. While some couples with kids were on point, a large percentage waited until the second follow-up e-mail to finally answer. I know having kids changes your priorities; I will not hold this against anyone.

2) Couples that have recently had weddings - Surprisingly, a few recently married couples have been the least responsive. I thought they would be a bit easier to wrangle having gone through this before.

3) Single guys - Sometimes I think single men think weddings just appear out of thin air. :)
4) Close friends - Seriously...you have to RSVP too. I know you love me, but the rules still apply! I've had multiple "Ofcourse, I'm coming!" Well you need to tell me too! :) You gotta love your friends.

Honestly, I'm amazed that this process has sometimes resembled pulling teeth. I know some people were holding out because they were still sorting out travel plans, but I honestly think some people just didn't want to write the e-mail or make the necessary phone call to let us know. I sound bitter, don't I? :( I also know that this wedding is not on everyone's radar everyday; life gets in the way (it does for me too even as the bride).

I'm not going to say that I have been totally happy with our RSVPs. There are many people who I thought even distance would not prevent them from coming who are in fact not going to be there. Others have completely surprised and flattered me. I'm touched that they are going to take time and spend their hard-earned money to be with me and Mr. Swan that day.

We've STILL got a few holdouts, and I'm wondering if it's safe to assume they're not coming.

Was your RSVP process smooth? Are/were you surprised about some of the people who were able to make it? How did you deal with the holdouts?

July 11, 2009


I am not channelling the artist sorta known as Prince, but this one little punctuation mark, the hyphen, is playing a little bit of a role in my name change situation. There have been a variety of posts on name changing from Bees current and past, so I know that this is not a new topic here in Weddingbee land. We blogging Bees and you readers have taken both sides of the argument from keeping your name; to taking your fiances name; to making your maiden name your middle name. I like to do things my own way and often that results in some difficulty. You see, I've decided to hyphenate my last name. 

Yeah, I know that this shouldn't be such a big deal, but I have a bit of wrinkle in all of this name change business: My first name is HYPHENATED!!! That's right. Here's what my name is now:

First Name - First Name  Middle Name  Last Name.

I can't believe I want to hyphenhate my LAST name! I know! Super long names...I just can't get enough!

After researching this a bit, I've learned that while I can change my last name quite easily, my first name is a whole other topic. I was able to choose a new surname on our marriage license application. I find it interesting that Mr. Swan was not given the option to change his on the form, but I digress... To change my first name, I would be required to go through a judicial proceeding. While it seems ministerial at best, I just don't think I want to invest the time and energy into this kind of endeavor (for lack of a better word) as name changing already seems like a barrel of fun as it is. Apparently, as long as I use my name consistently without intent to fraud, I should be good to go (luckily, three years of law school and a lot debt allows me to know what this means). Thank you New York State Domestic Relations Law for giving me a break!

As of right now, LEGALLY my post-marriage name will be:

First Name-First Name  Middle Name  Last Name-Last Name (Are you still following me?) BUT

I will probably go through work and my daily life as:

First Name   Last Name - Last Name

Don't ask me how this is all going to work as I will be making this up as I go along. ;)

I very rarely hear women mention that they will hyphenate their names. It's probably too much of a hassle, huh? My few married friends have all chosen to keep their last names with the exception of one. As with everything in life I want to have my cake and eat it too....my way. As much as it's going to be a pain, I want to give honor to both families that I will belong to. 

Moral of the story: If you're thinking about hyphenating your child's first name in the future, DON'T DO IT!! :)

Do any of you have any special name change challenges?

July 10, 2009

You Can't Fight City Hall

Yes. that's right...don't do it! Just go to our welcome reception venue!


We ended up falling in love with City Hall in part because it was the relaxed feeling we wanted for a varied group of people that would be congregating that evening. Also the owner, Henry Meer, was so lovely to us and a pretty great salesman. We went on a Friday after work, and I guess we looked a little bit lost and like a snoopers. The next thing I knew Henry was asking us about ourselves and had ordered us a glass of wine. In addition to being a pretty space, Henry charmed our pants off (figuratively of course).  We ended up returning an hour later and having a great dinner there. 

We looked at a variety of places in lower Manhattan in an effort to try to find a place to meet up with our out of town guests the evening before the wedding.  Since we're not having a wedding party and therefore the whole rehearsal is sort of going to be more of a run-through, we're also not going to have a full fledged rehearsal dinner. Egads! No rehearsal dinner, my friends!

I know that there is a great debate about whether or not one should have a rehearsal dinner with all of the out-of-town guests, but we really couldn't do that. It was just not budget friendly for us. We had much more grandiose plans prior to Mr. Swan losing his job, but as you can imagine that got thrown by the wayside. Instead, we've invited our guests to join us for drinks for a 2 1/2 hour period the night before. I may even dip out a little early since I've got an early morning ahead of me the next day. 

Are you foregoing a traditional rehearsal dinner? 

July 8, 2009

A Glimpse at City Hall

A few days ago Mr. Swan and I made a major step towards the wedding and got our marriage license.

The process was pretty simple actually. We made our way down to the NYC Marriage Bureau. While there are branches in each borough of New York City, we decided to go to the newly renovated and relatively high-tech one in lower Manhattan. The City has done a lot of work to make this an attractive place to not only get your license but also to marry. In all, I think it was a pleasant experience in some pretty nice surroundings.

Here it is in all its glory.

After checking in at the information booth, we filled out an online form, which we could have done at home (but it wouldn't have had the benefit of all of the atmosphere that only a government office can provide). On the form, I was able to also select a new last name. More on that later.....

Here's Mr. Swan looking very intently at the application.

After finishing the application and collecting a number, we waited for our number to be called, and took in the scene at the Marriage Bureau (and what a scene it was!!). One of the coolest aspects of the Marriage Bureau is that they literally have everything for your wedding needs right there. Vendors/wedding elves? No need. You need flowers?


They have everything from a single flower to full bridal bouquets at VERY reasonable prices. Apparently you can also get everything from hairspray to disposable digital cameras. Not bad!

I will admit to you that I was getting a little misty-eyed while there. I've been loving all things marriage lately. Committment makes me mushy. It's actually pretty cool to see all kinds of people with their family and friends getting ready to be married.

There's even a spot with a backdrop of the City Hall ('cause you know this is the equivalent of going down to "City Hall" to get married. Not the same building though.) Here's a great pic of a couple in front of backdrop.

We didn't get a chance to see the chapel where the marriage ceremonies take place, which is in the back behind this booth. Boo!

So after taking it all in, We got THIS:

Our marriage license!
I thought it would look a bit....prettier? I don't know what I was expecting, but I think after getting the license this week things are beginning to hit me. I'm getting married. OMG!!!
How was your trip to get your marriage license? Was it a pleasant experience?

July 6, 2009

Through the Ring-er

I don't know if you've noticed, but I have not talked about my engagement ring, so here it is.

It's not that I don't like my engagement ring. I LOVE IT. Yet I often feel particularly uncomfortable about discussing it with people or for lack of a better phrase "showing it off." I guess I'll reveal to you all my insecurity about the fact that my ring is a bit bigger than I expected (Ugh! It pained me to write that!!!). While I love it as the most lovely and generous gift that Mr. Swan has ever given me, I find that often some other people view my ring (or really enagement rings in general) in a different way.

The moment I got engaged to Mr. Swan I was this big ball of emotion and tears. I looked at my ring and thought it looked great, but I think I was just so out of sorts and giddy that I didn't really think about it much. Plus it didn't even fit my ring finger. I had a pretty expensive pinky ring for about a week before I got a chance to get it resized by the jeweler.

After I started to see friends and acquaintances post-engagement, people were starting to make more of a big deal about my ring than I was.  I started to get upset. In my mind, I was just excited to even be getting married. My mother never got married and again most of my female family and friends are not. I was just happy to have found someone. Yet all many people could talk about was the ring. As an illustrative example, I will share with you a "ring run in" that occured with a relative of Mr. Swan last year during the holidays. 

Pretty much said relative walked into the room, asked me how I was doing, and then said "Let's see your ring" all within the span of two minutes! I had just started as new, challenging and interesting job the month before. She didn't ask me about that. I was spending my first major holiday away from my family. She didn't ask me how I felt about that. She didn't even asked about how I was enjoying being engaged. Um, hello, it's nice to see you too. I was a bit pissy that she barely even made an effort to even make some kind of conversation before she even looked at my ring. Dude, I'm a person that exists independent of my ring. 

It got me thinking about engagement rings and why we as a society put so much stock in them. I understand the symbolism of the ring of course. I know that it signifies an acceptance of a marriage proposal and life long committement, but I definitely feel like perhaps there is a little too much emphasis on it. I wish sometimes I would get more congratulations and questions about how I'm feeling about becoming a wife than about my ring. 

It upsets me when I read about women made to feel inferior or otherwise because they receive a diamond that's too small or too big (or did not receive a diamond at all!) by others who choose to steal their joy about the ring instead of giving words of encouragement to them regarding this amazing new life event. I don't think we should do away with engagement rings and that they are important to some degree but maybe we all need to do some soul searching about our attitudes towards them. By the way, I am not perfect. I have had my judgey moments about big rings...BUT I keep it hidden away in the back of my mind in the "Keep it to Yourself" folder!!!

Have you been in a situation where you felt uncomfortable about your engagement ring? I will get down off my soapbox now, but I'd be interested be in hearing your opinions.

July 2, 2009

Are We Done Yet?

A Real Conversation in the Swan Household:

Miss Swan: [Choose your own random wedding detail and insert here]. Can you help with that? Thanks, boo.

Mr. Swan: I'm excited about getting married, but the planning is a lot. There's so much to think about. [Isn't he cute? He doesn't know the half of it.]

Miss Swan: I know, and we've been doing this for about 10 months now. We're almost there. ACK!! I haven't done anything all weekend. Maybe I should do something today. Ughh....

I spent a whole lot of procrastinating this past weekend and definitely not enough on the wedding. I don't want to be left out there scrambling the week before, BUT I think I am getting tired....of planning. In some ways I feel like I can't think anymore about the details. I'm not necessarily the world's most original person when it comes to wedding decor and details, so I feel pretty tapped out (escort cards, anyone? I will figure that out somehow). The funny thing is that I am not doing a ton of projects or things myself, and I'm still staring at a pretty long to-do list.

Given that we are now in the home stretch of planning, we should be amped right now. Mr. Swan and I are getting more excited about being married each day, but I am amazed at how much this process can sometimes zap your mental energy.

Is anyone else thinking, "Are we done yet?" For those with weddings soon, how are you keeping focused and full of energy?