Wedding Salon

Hey there, hive!

I had the pleasure of attending the Wedding Salon at the Roosevelt Hotel in midtown Manhattan on April 12. I most definitely had a wonderful time as it was my first bridal show. I never went to one even while engaged! It was a great opportunity to get a look at what vendors are offering and see some new bridal fashion.

I also got to see a special someone. Do you know her?

Courtesy of Miss Hamster

Miss Hamster and I were also joined by the lovely, MOH/Sister Hamster and Mrs. Lovebird and friend.

The event was divided into various rooms connected by a hallway and also occupied the Grand Ballroom, which was full of even more vendors and live music from various bands.

What I liked about the Wedding Salon was that there were vendors for every person's interests:

For the honeymoon daydreamers:

The Seychelles Tourism Board ( I soo want to go here!) and the Barbados Tourism Authority.

For lovers of all things sweet:

Amazing Truffles from Sweet Perfection Desserts

I was lucky enough to have two of these bite-size cake truffles in Chocolate Chiffon and Lemon Chiffon flavors. Swoon! They pack a perfect little sweet punch and would make a great addition to a sweets table or as favors.

A lush floral multi-tier cake from Make My Cake, one of my favorite bakeries in New York City. I used to live near one of their two shops in Harlem; and yes, I needed restraint not to stop by often.

For those in search of beauty:

Attendees had the opportunity to get free makeup trials and advice from a variety of beauty specialists such as Courtney Akai Salon.

And this was just the start of my trip around the event. Phew!

A view of the Grand Ballroom courtesy of Miss Hamster

When I finally made my way to the ballroom, I was definitely overwhelmed by all of the lovely tables filled with gorgeous, elegant table designs that many florists and event designers created.

Flowers by Topaz

The team from In Bloom created a table that brought the natural world inside with branches, soft candles and vibrant, colorful china.

Pure opulence from Disney's Fairytale Weddings by David Tutera (more on him in a minute!)

One of my favorite tablescapes was the table from Gubby & Swife, a husband and wife event design team.

Surprisingly, it was the only one without a tall centerpiece. I love the light, crisp, pops of color and the understated floral arrangement, especially the palm details at each napkin. Also I'd like to send an extra special shout out to Farley Green, the Swife portion of Gubby and Swife. She was very pleasant to me while I peppered her with questions. Vendors take note! Please be friendly at bridal shows. :)

Lest I forget: the man, the myth, the legend, Mr. David Tutera, made an appareance. There was most definitely a long line of fans waiting to meet him.

This is the best pic that I could find (thanks, Miss Hamster!). Sorry I couldn't do better, DT fans!

Of course the main event of the whole evening was the bridal couture show produced by Bridal Reflections.

I was so excited to see my first bridal fashion show, and I wasn't disappointed. The fashion show included designs from Ines Di Santo, Stephen Yearick, David Tutera by Faviana and Marina K Couture. Here are some highlights:

I like that this dress by Stephen Yearick pushed the envelope with feathers on the bodice.

Ines DiSanto with her models

There was so much to see at the Wedding Salon, and I hope I'll be able to go back again soon.

*All photos by Creative Compositions unless otherwise noted

Through the Ring-er

I don't know if you've noticed, but I have not talked about my engagement ring, so here it is.

It's not that I don't like my engagement ring. I LOVE IT. Yet I often feel particularly uncomfortable about discussing it with people or for lack of a better phrase "showing it off." I guess I'll reveal to you all my insecurity about the fact that my ring is a bit bigger than I expected (Ugh! It pained me to write that!!!). While I love it as the most lovely and generous gift that Mr. Swan has ever given me, I find that often some other people view my ring (or really enagement rings in general) in a different way.

The moment I got engaged to Mr. Swan I was this big ball of emotion and tears. I looked at my ring and thought it looked great, but I think I was just so out of sorts and giddy that I didn't really think about it much. Plus it didn't even fit my ring finger. I had a pretty expensive pinky ring for about a week before I got a chance to get it resized by the jeweler.

After I started to see friends and acquaintances post-engagement, people were starting to make more of a big deal about my ring than I was.  I started to get upset. In my mind, I was just excited to even be getting married. My mother never got married and again most of my female family and friends are not. I was just happy to have found someone. Yet all many people could talk about was the ring. As an illustrative example, I will share with you a "ring run in" that occured with a relative of Mr. Swan last year during the holidays. 

Pretty much said relative walked into the room, asked me how I was doing, and then said "Let's see your ring" all within the span of two minutes! I had just started as new, challenging and interesting job the month before. She didn't ask me about that. I was spending my first major holiday away from my family. She didn't ask me how I felt about that. She didn't even asked about how I was enjoying being engaged. Um, hello, it's nice to see you too. I was a bit pissy that she barely even made an effort to even make some kind of conversation before she even looked at my ring. Dude, I'm a person that exists independent of my ring. 

It got me thinking about engagement rings and why we as a society put so much stock in them. I understand the symbolism of the ring of course. I know that it signifies an acceptance of a marriage proposal and life long committement, but I definitely feel like perhaps there is a little too much emphasis on it. I wish sometimes I would get more congratulations and questions about how I'm feeling about becoming a wife than about my ring. 

It upsets me when I read about women made to feel inferior or otherwise because they receive a diamond that's too small or too big (or did not receive a diamond at all!) by others who choose to steal their joy about the ring instead of giving words of encouragement to them regarding this amazing new life event. I don't think we should do away with engagement rings and that they are important to some degree but maybe we all need to do some soul searching about our attitudes towards them. By the way, I am not perfect. I have had my judgey moments about big rings...BUT I keep it hidden away in the back of my mind in the "Keep it to Yourself" folder!!!

Have you been in a situation where you felt uncomfortable about your engagement ring? I will get down off my soapbox now, but I'd be interested be in hearing your opinions.

Absolutely Fascinating

I am like Miss Mary Jane. Wearing anything on my head sort of weirds me out. I was kinda dead set against any kind of veil when I first started planning my wedding. You remember when that David's Bridal consultant put a veil on me, right? I've never been someone who wears hats or baseball caps primarily because they just don't fit over my hair in its current or past versions. 

I was definitely looking for an alternative to a veil and then was inspired by homegirl, Keisha over here:

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I don't think that everyone can pull off a fascinator, but why not try it? I liked the look because to me it seems to free you from the constraints of a veil if you're not sure about the tradition. At the same time, you gotta be totally diva-esque or just plain confident to pull some of these off. I wasn't completely sure if I fell into this category, but I started to do research...gotta love the research! 

Like I said, I feel like ya gotta be extra diva for something like this one:

                                                                     

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Cosette headpiece of Feathers & Frills of Etsy

I so wanted to be one with this headpiece/fascinator because it's just so fresh. Alas, there were too many feathers involved for me. I can't put my finger on it, but I'm not totally attracted to feathers.  Plus I think that this would look great with an extremely simple dress and while mine comes close I think this piece would have been a bit much. I could totally see this with a short simple dress. 

These two from Artikal below are fun and tres modern, but again I was feeling the "I need to be able to pull this off" pressure. 

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I can easily say that I was in some serious love with this dramatic headpiece from Portobello.

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I love that this is both simple yet intricate all at the same time. I love the pearls and rhinestones (although I don't have anything remotely close to a pearl anywhere in my wedding outfit). I decided against this headpiece in the end, but someone please get this and show me pics!

What do you think I should look for in a headpiece? What do YOU look for in a headpiece? 

Well That Was Easy

Here it is:

My lovely wedding band. I was not as interested in wedding bands as I thought I would be. They started to look the same after awhile .

I knew I wanted: 

(a) thin

(b) nothing that would compete with my engagement ring

(c) nothing too expensive

(d) something I could wear by itself and still get a little sparkle in there

Blue Nile was quick and easy. Mind you, we did go to the store where Mr. Swan bought my engagement ring. I was not feeling the $2k plus large diamond kinda bands. Heck to the nah, y'all. 

Here's a pic of the two rings together (and a chipped nail..sigh):

(per me)

By itself

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What this part of the process did reveal to me is that I do not enjoy the parts of the planning that focus on me :) Thinking about food, invites, decor...fun. Jewelry, hair, makeup...oy vey! 

Has anyone been enjoying jewelry shopping and the other personal shopping aspects of the wedding? Good! I need to learn a thing or two from you :) 

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Semper Ubi Sub Ubi

Translation: Always Wear Underwear

For those of you who are dorky like me, a former geek who studied six years of Latin, you'll know that that is the most incorrect Latin ever.  Don't ask me what actual Latin is 'cause I couldn't tell you at this point. 

Anyhoo....I started down the path to cheesiness so that I could talk about my undergarment shopping experience. Like many NYC brides I went to Bra*Tenders in Hell's Kitchen in Manhattan, and I have to say that what I've read about the store was correct. The lovely woman who helped me (I'm soo sorry that I am now blanking on her name, which is a shame because she was so knowledgeable). She looked at me and pretty much knew what size I was. No measuring tape, i.e. MAD SKILLZ, yo! Aaaahhhh my size...well let's just say that the statement that most women are not wearing their correct bra size is indeed correct! What size am I? That I will not reveal, BUT I will say that I never even knew that my size existed! 

I was told that while I am lucky to be relatively slender, I am what's called "full breasted" (I guess I can't deny that). Most American makers of bras assume that if you are "full breasted" that you are also full-figured or have a wider back. Au contraire...Apparently women in the UK and other parts of Europe have a wider range of bra size options than we do. Boo Victoria's Secret! (Hmmm...maybe the lack of size options is the secret.) Dear American bra makers, give us more choice! 

After all of these deep revelations, I splurged on two bras AND a bustier for my gown. I rationalized by reminding myself that when you find something that will help you look great you shouldn't hesitate too much if it's within your budget. Plus, Mr. Swan has been hearing me complaining about bra shopping way too much in the past year, and I knew he'd be pleased (he was). 

(not my bustier but still cute, look here for source)

Now the million dollar question is whether I should buy Spanx or something like that (I don't really think I have a pooch though). Hmm...

I'm not the only one who's had a good Bra*Tenders experience. 

By the way, ladies out there with fuller cup sizes, take a look at UK designer, Fantasie (please don't count it out based on the spelling).

 

The Write Stuff

Let's put this next topic in the "I didn't think I would really care about this for my wedding" category: calligraphy.

For the "streamlined, cut out everything not necessary" bride like me, I should be getting our computer printer ready for some lovely mailing labels. Yet there I was about a month ago looking and practically salivating over calligraphy options for invitations. 

"Is calligraphy necessary? Heck no! Will your invites be welcomed by open arms by your guests? But ofcourse!" This was my internal dialogue as I realized that I really wanted this item for our wedding, and I began the search for affordable calligraphy options.

I went to one of my new favorite sites, Etsy, and searched through pages and pages of lovely calligraphers. I knew that I wanted the look to not be too frilly and formal since that would not fit our daytime, bright-colored, modern wedding. I wanted something that was maybe a bit more whimsical or contemporary than something with a ton of scripty flourishes (nothing wrong with that by the way). 

I finally found Fran of Little Flower Calligraphy through Etsy. I feel in love with the quirky yet pretty Social Butterfly script below. I found her prices to be fair, and since we are not going crazy on the invitations I was pretty excited that we could afford her. 

Now I am the first to remind myself that I am probably the only one who will even care that we will have specially hand written envelopes, but come on. I should be allowed to have the bridal genes kick in sometimes, no? :)

For the marrieds and the planners out there, was there anything surprising that you realized you wanted for your wedding during the course of the planning? 

Does anyone have a favorite calligrapher? 

Color Me Happy

I never thought I would be one of those brides that got into the idea of wedding colors...but I have! By the way, I have surprised myself with the things I've ended up caring and not caring about during this process, so I guess that I shouldn't be surprised again.

I knew that I wanted bold colors after deciding on our venue. Battery Gardens is a very stark white, light, airy place that uses all white linens. While I am sure that I could have brought in my own linens, I definitely wanted to have a bold color pop against all of that white. To me, bold became more important since we chose not to have a nightime wedding. It wouldn't make much sense getting lighting for a reception at 1pm, so I wanted our color choices to project brightness for us. I decided that whatever I chose I really wanted our colors to stand out.


Also at that time, one of the coolest weddings I'd ever seen online had a stark white with nice lime green accents that looked so simple and modern. I had even thought for second that I would use green or yellow and white as colors because I was seeing all of these inspiring weddings using them in such great ways. I was intrigued by contrasts (kinda like me and Mr. Swan, no?)


Then one day early on, I got inspiration from (of all places) a wedding magazine! It's probably the one thing that has inspired me from a wedding mag. What did I end up choosing? Drum roll......

Hot Pink & Orange

Okay, that text isn't really hot pink. I've actually had to train my eye to see that not all hot pinks are really hot pink (Yikes, I just wrote that, didn't I?) Some are more purple-ish and are closer to fuschia and some are like the pink above (Yes, I'm officially a weirdo). I knew that I wanted a deeper darker pink, which I have been able to find and distinguish (at least I'll finish this planning with some talents!).

Also just to let you know, I'm not a girly girl. I usually HATE pink, but not my rich, darker, bold pink that I'll be using. I guess the orange was not too much of a stretch since I've been incorporating it into our home decor. Needless to say, Mommy Swan gave me a look when I mentioned the colors, but she tends to do that. :) I definitely have had some reservations about my choice at some moments, especially since I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I figure why not be bold?

If you can't visualize what these colors may look like together here's a great inspiration board incorporating them together courtesy of this here lovely blog.

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Unfortunately, my dress is not that fabulous :) I'm completely feelin' those shoes (too bad I'm wearing flats).

Anyone else color-obsessed?

Hair Idea

My hair is much longer than this, but I love curly locs. I need to do a more extensive hair post. Hmm...I might even need to actually think about how I'm going to wear my hair...how about that? More to do.

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I'm Thinking Flat

Shoes.

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Nine West

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Steve Madden

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J. Crew

How about these?

I knew I wanted flat shoes because Mr. Swan is my shorty...literally..Hee hee! :) I didn't want to be super taller than him on the Big Day. 

My feet get hot in the summer, so sandals were definitely the way to go. 

The bling..well..hey, everybody got to get the bling on somehow. :)

Anybody else wearing flats?

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I Think We've Got It

I think we've got the suit down!

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I promise, Mr. CPF, that I will not blog anymore about your outfit...okay, Mr. CPF? :) Well..okay..maybe not. :)  Shhh.....

Afrocentric Weddings - Attire

In addition to wonderful ceremony traditions, some who want to bring African traditions into their wedding opt to wear ethnic inspired attire. While I tend not to be too traditional in my view of what one should do for weddings, I do love the look of a traditional wedding dress. At the same time, I think it would be cool to rock an untradtional dress/outfit like these below all while expressing your culture.

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Who says grooms can't get involved too? I love gold and white especially in the summer.

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I'm loving the soft yet regal head wrap.

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This dress is a design from Therez Fleetwood who specializes in Afrocentric/ethnic bridal wear. I love the chic simplicity of this dress.

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This dress highlights West African African Andinkra symbols from Ghana each with its own meaning.

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I love cowrie shells!

Grooming

Not grooming for me, but for Mr. Swan. I have always been an advocate of a groom in a nice suit. Rented tuxedos with cumberbunds or vests have just never looked too right to me. On the other hand, in his last job, Mr. Swan had to wear a suit almost every single day. While I think my boo looks pretty sharp when going to work in a Brooks Brothers' business suit, I'm not sure if it's the same style we are aiming for for our daytime summer wedding. I took the liberty of collecting some pictures of snazzy looking grooms, and here they are. Any favorites?

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I thought Mr. Swan would like something like this. Minus the bowtie. To my surprise he totally didn't. You feel like you know someone and Bam!

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This guy looks pretty snappy, but I told Mr. Swan not worry about wearing any feathers on our wedding day.

Will anyone else break the tuxedo mold for their wedding?

Hair Here?

So I'm finally going to talk about one of the biggest challenges for me in terms of planning. It's been even harder than my dress, I think. It's my HAIR. As I've alluded to earlier I have locs. I don't call them dreadlocks or dreads because to be honest, there is nothing to "dread" about them. :) I think people have many ill-conceived ideas about people like me simply because we choose to wear our hair this way. Common misconceptions:

1. We are dirty individuals - I bathe every day. I like to look good and I think I smell pretty good too. I take care of my hair. I'm at a salon almost every four to six weeks. I take pride in my appearance.


2. We can't get jobs - I have had multiple very good, (even what some would consider) high paying jobs at some point in my life already. I am now in a job that requires representing important individuals, so I think I have pretty job prospects. I will admit this has never always been true. Thank God for living in 2009.

3. We are countercultural/trying to make a statement - This one might be a fair assumption. Although I have to admit for me and many Black women I know who choose to wear their hair this way it's because we like the way it looks as well as the opportunity to wear without chemical and/or heat straightening. Also it requires little to no daily upkeep, which is great for a lazy person like me. ;)

4. We all smoke drugs of some form - Never have and never will...moving on...

5. We are adherents to Rastafarianism - I grew up going to church in a denomination very similar to Lutheran/Presbyterian church. I would now consider myself a nondenominational Christian. Obviously none of that is Rastafarian related. Having done research into Rastafarianism, I think it's pretty interesting religion/cultural expression. Recommended Reading: "Rasta and Resistance" by Horace Campbell.


April made five years that I've been wearing my hair this way. I love it and at this point I have no plans of changing my hair (yes, Mama Swan, I'm not changing it). As the wedding approaches and my hair keeps growing, I've been trying to figure out some ways to style my hair and to possibly do hair trials.


I say possibly do hair trials because I am contemplating how to . I can't curl my hair with a curling iron. Usually curling my locs that requires my hair to be roller set when it's wet, and I sit under the dryer for about an hour! One of the burdens of my hair, I guess, is that as it grows my hair appointments grow longer. Usually they take between 2.5 to 3 hours on a good day. I think this means that I'll need to stagger out my hair trials? Hmm...


I think my plan will be to start figuring out at least what I like and what I don't like for a style. I'm also thinking about possibly cheating on my hairstylist but that's another post.


Here's what I think I want:

A soft, basic but pretty updo

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I think this will look great with my dress as well as it gets my very long hair off my neck in the middle of the August heat.

I also like when my hair has texture, i.e., when it's curled with a roller set or when two or three individuals locs are twisted or braided together and loosened to produce a "crimp" look like this:

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Sorry for the picture of the hardcore looking dude, but it's a good representation of crimped locs. He looks pretty mean, doesn't he? I would mostly likely wear my hair half up if I chose something like this. I've been wearing my hair like this alot lately.

As I said before I also really enjoy wearing my hair curly. I think this is a fun look that can be pinned up to add some drama. I'm not sure what kind of style I would want, but here's a good example.

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I have choices, but I think the journey of trying to figure out how I'll wear my hair will be an interesting one. Stay tuned for this one as well.

Love These!

Okay, so I am going to finally let some people in on a little secret place I like to visit for a cute, stylish gift: Cheetahrama. I love these amazing compacts, vanity cases and business card holders. I recently ordered one of Deborah Gregory's Billie Holiday business card holders as a Christmas present to myself. I discovered her items while perusing Essence Magazine several years ago. Her chic accessories feature divas of the past like Ella Fitzgerald, Pam Grier, Billie Holiday, Josephine Baker and most recently Dorothy Dandridge. This would be an amazing and unique bridesmaid gift or a great gift for the friend in your life who has everything or who loves old school divas of the past.

In addition to making these fabulous accessories, Deborah is also the author of the "Cheetah Girls" young adult book series, which eventually spawned a movie or two. I also spotted Deborah on TV a few times commenting on pop culture. I love Deborah's customer service (essentially when you order she answers you personally!). I love supporting small businesses particularly by women and people of color.

Here are a few of my favorites:

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Pam Grier as Foxy Brown. She's a badass. Period. I have this vanity case.

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Ms. Billie Holiday. This is my business card holder. :)

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The Original Diva: Ms. Josephine Baker

Definitely check out Deborah's work!