Au Naturale

As promised I thought I would show you all some great styles for women of color with natural hair (meaning no chemical straightening). I know that when I started to wear my hair this way WAAAAY back in the mid 90's there were really not t0o many options or places to look for these styles. My how times have changed, and I'm glad to see it! When I'm good and ready to chop off my locs and start fresh, I'm going to need some inspiration. Why not start now, right?

I like this first one the best. These are very small twists that are twisted on the head in a similar manner as cornrows (except they're twists..I hope this makes sense). I think this is totally beautiful, elegant and different.

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Here are some other variations of this style.

In this case the ends are twisted together and released to produce a crimped look.

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This is a similar style with two strand twists shaping the face. Again those are actually small twists that look like cornrows.

I think I would rock this style below whether I was getting married or not.

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More twists except this time hair extensions are added for length as well as to make the style last longer.

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Ofcourse for years, my hair was a variation on one of these two styles below. These are much more spruced up versions.

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OR Something like this (which usually was a precursor to the one at the above left):

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I didn't even get into braids really. Maybe I'll save that for another post. I hope this was helpful to some of the au natural brides out there!

Hair Idea

My hair is much longer than this, but I love curly locs. I need to do a more extensive hair post. Hmm...I might even need to actually think about how I'm going to wear my hair...how about that? More to do.

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Afrocentric Weddings - Attire

In addition to wonderful ceremony traditions, some who want to bring African traditions into their wedding opt to wear ethnic inspired attire. While I tend not to be too traditional in my view of what one should do for weddings, I do love the look of a traditional wedding dress. At the same time, I think it would be cool to rock an untradtional dress/outfit like these below all while expressing your culture.

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Who says grooms can't get involved too? I love gold and white especially in the summer.

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I'm loving the soft yet regal head wrap.

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This dress is a design from Therez Fleetwood who specializes in Afrocentric/ethnic bridal wear. I love the chic simplicity of this dress.

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This dress highlights West African African Andinkra symbols from Ghana each with its own meaning.

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I love cowrie shells!

Afrocentric Weddings -Tasting of the Four Elements

Why not incorporate culture and food right into the ceremony? Here's a description of the tasting of the four elements:

In a ritual adapted from a Yoruba tradition, the bride and groom taste four flavors that represent different emotions within a relationship. The four flavors typically used are sour (lemon), bitter (vinegar), hot (cayenne), and sweet (honey). By tasting each of the flavors, the couple symbolically demonstrates that they will be able to get through the hard times in life, and, in the end, enjoy the sweetness of marriage. (source)

I love that this ritual gives us a physical reminder of the various aspects of married life. I can imagine that it must be quite a shock to the palate to taste these elements in succession. I guess that's how relationships are in a way: The hot will follow the sweet, which can turn sour at any given moment. When you're sharing forever together as a couple, I guess it's good to expect the unexpected.

Will food or any uncommon object or practice be incorporated into your ceremony?

Afrocentric Weddings - Libation Ceremony

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In my research I came across the African libation ceremony, which honors ancestors. I love the idea of honoring the past while looking forward to the future. Here is a brief description of the premise of the libation ceremony:

Many African-American couples incorporate a libation ceremony into their weddings as a way to honor their African ancestors. Holy water, or alcohol, is poured onto the ground in each of the cardinal directions as prayers are recited to the ancestral spirits, and names of those that have recently passed are called out. The libation ceremony can also be used as an opportunity to honor the elders in a family, asking them to pass on their wisdom and guidance. (source)

The libation ceremony incorporates the past and family history into a wedding ceremony. In many ways, we are who we are because of our family histories. Our marriages represent a continuation of that legacy.

I'll leave you with a sample libation ceremony text:

An African proverb tells us that people who lack the knowledge of their past are like a tree without roots. So, in the spirit of remembrance, we pour this libation. We pour to honor the past, so that we may learn from it. We pour to honor the importance of family. We raise our cup to God to show our reverence for the original source of our lives. We use cool water to freshen the road our ancestors travel to be here with us today. We use cool water as a symbol of the continuity of life, to purify and to nourish our souls. We pour to celebrate the coming together of the families of these two people.

It is said that through others, we are somebody. Through this marriage, we broaden our family circle, remember our heritage and recall those who gave us life. We call upon our ancestors -- our mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers, our fathers, grandfathers and our great grandfathers, uncles, aunts and cousins -- the foundations of our families, immortalized in our thoughts.

We call upon our elders, whose wisdom we seek in all endeavors. Our friends whom we are blessed to have in our lives, our parents who guided us along the road to adulthood. We call upon family who have passed over and could not be here today. We ask that they be with us in our thoughts. We call upon the bride and groom, that they may always find prosperity in love and devotion. We ask that this couple be blessed by children, because children give glory to a home.

Therefore we cast our libations to the North, to the South, to the East and to the West. [Libation toast giver turns in the indicated directions while reading.] We wish everyone to leave more blessed than when they came. Amen. (source)

Did you or anyone you know find ways to honor your family legacies in your wedding ceremony?

Afrocentric Weddings - Jumping the Broom

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On my personal blog, I did a series during Black History Month on Afro-centric wedding elements, and I thought I would share some of them here on Wedding Bee. While many people of African descent may not incorporate African/African-American elements into every aspect of their weddings, there are many small things that brides can do to add a little cultural flair. I hope t0 highlight a few in this series.

Since Mr. Swan and I are an interracial couple, I am not sure whether we'll incorporate many of these traditions into our wedding. While I doubt we'll be having many of these elements, don't get it twisted. I will be incorporating my Afro-Caribbean culture in some way. I'm still doing some fine tuning. Also while many of these traditions come from African/African-American culture, I think there is a beautiful universal meaning that anyone from any culture can take away from these celebrations.

The first and most common cultural element that I have seen at weddings is the act of jumping the broom. Here is some information that I uncovered:

This tradition most likely originated with an African ritual in which a broom is used to demonstrate that all past problems have been swept away. During slave days, African-Americans were forbidden to marry and live together, so jumping over a broom was a formal and public declaration of the couple's commitment. Today, it has become very popular for African-American couples to follow suit at the conclusion of their wedding ceremony. The broom, often handmade and beautifully decorated, can be displayed in the couple's home after the wedding. (source)

Apparently, some authors claim that jumping the room is not specifically African/African-American in origin, but it has been most connected to Black slaves in the United States.

I have to admit that I like the idea behind broom jumping. I love the notion of crossing a line into a new life together in both a metaphorical and physical way during the ceremony. Ultimately, this is what our weddings are about: A new beginning.

Are you incorporating a specific cultural element into your weddings? Does it have a specific significance to you and your future partner?

Hair Here?

So I'm finally going to talk about one of the biggest challenges for me in terms of planning. It's been even harder than my dress, I think. It's my HAIR. As I've alluded to earlier I have locs. I don't call them dreadlocks or dreads because to be honest, there is nothing to "dread" about them. :) I think people have many ill-conceived ideas about people like me simply because we choose to wear our hair this way. Common misconceptions:

1. We are dirty individuals - I bathe every day. I like to look good and I think I smell pretty good too. I take care of my hair. I'm at a salon almost every four to six weeks. I take pride in my appearance.


2. We can't get jobs - I have had multiple very good, (even what some would consider) high paying jobs at some point in my life already. I am now in a job that requires representing important individuals, so I think I have pretty job prospects. I will admit this has never always been true. Thank God for living in 2009.

3. We are countercultural/trying to make a statement - This one might be a fair assumption. Although I have to admit for me and many Black women I know who choose to wear their hair this way it's because we like the way it looks as well as the opportunity to wear without chemical and/or heat straightening. Also it requires little to no daily upkeep, which is great for a lazy person like me. ;)

4. We all smoke drugs of some form - Never have and never will...moving on...

5. We are adherents to Rastafarianism - I grew up going to church in a denomination very similar to Lutheran/Presbyterian church. I would now consider myself a nondenominational Christian. Obviously none of that is Rastafarian related. Having done research into Rastafarianism, I think it's pretty interesting religion/cultural expression. Recommended Reading: "Rasta and Resistance" by Horace Campbell.


April made five years that I've been wearing my hair this way. I love it and at this point I have no plans of changing my hair (yes, Mama Swan, I'm not changing it). As the wedding approaches and my hair keeps growing, I've been trying to figure out some ways to style my hair and to possibly do hair trials.


I say possibly do hair trials because I am contemplating how to . I can't curl my hair with a curling iron. Usually curling my locs that requires my hair to be roller set when it's wet, and I sit under the dryer for about an hour! One of the burdens of my hair, I guess, is that as it grows my hair appointments grow longer. Usually they take between 2.5 to 3 hours on a good day. I think this means that I'll need to stagger out my hair trials? Hmm...


I think my plan will be to start figuring out at least what I like and what I don't like for a style. I'm also thinking about possibly cheating on my hairstylist but that's another post.


Here's what I think I want:

A soft, basic but pretty updo

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I think this will look great with my dress as well as it gets my very long hair off my neck in the middle of the August heat.

I also like when my hair has texture, i.e., when it's curled with a roller set or when two or three individuals locs are twisted or braided together and loosened to produce a "crimp" look like this:

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Sorry for the picture of the hardcore looking dude, but it's a good representation of crimped locs. He looks pretty mean, doesn't he? I would mostly likely wear my hair half up if I chose something like this. I've been wearing my hair like this alot lately.

As I said before I also really enjoy wearing my hair curly. I think this is a fun look that can be pinned up to add some drama. I'm not sure what kind of style I would want, but here's a good example.

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I have choices, but I think the journey of trying to figure out how I'll wear my hair will be an interesting one. Stay tuned for this one as well.

Love These!

Okay, so I am going to finally let some people in on a little secret place I like to visit for a cute, stylish gift: Cheetahrama. I love these amazing compacts, vanity cases and business card holders. I recently ordered one of Deborah Gregory's Billie Holiday business card holders as a Christmas present to myself. I discovered her items while perusing Essence Magazine several years ago. Her chic accessories feature divas of the past like Ella Fitzgerald, Pam Grier, Billie Holiday, Josephine Baker and most recently Dorothy Dandridge. This would be an amazing and unique bridesmaid gift or a great gift for the friend in your life who has everything or who loves old school divas of the past.

In addition to making these fabulous accessories, Deborah is also the author of the "Cheetah Girls" young adult book series, which eventually spawned a movie or two. I also spotted Deborah on TV a few times commenting on pop culture. I love Deborah's customer service (essentially when you order she answers you personally!). I love supporting small businesses particularly by women and people of color.

Here are a few of my favorites:

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Pam Grier as Foxy Brown. She's a badass. Period. I have this vanity case.

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Ms. Billie Holiday. This is my business card holder. :)

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The Original Diva: Ms. Josephine Baker

Definitely check out Deborah's work!

The Kwanzaa Connection

You know, sometimes I think I've things down pat, and I can make all of these cool connections to various theories and ideas. Then I realize that a lot of people are way ahead of me. Like this blog post connecting Kwanzaa principles to wedding/marriages (Um, thanks Martha Stewart Weddings!). Regardless of your feelings or knowledge about this holiday, I think the underlying Seven Principles are beautiful and have application throughout our daily lives.

Happy Kwanzaa!

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Feeling Left Out?

I'm not exactly sure how to write this post. While I think I am like many brides out there trying to navigate all of the various ideas about what I am supposed to be as a bride, I sometimes feel a little left out. As I am sure you all can see from my profile there, I am a Black woman (with (dread)locs no less). While I love the wedding blog world and while I acknowledge that there are many great Black women doing wedding blogs (Brides Cafe, 12k Wedding), I still don't feel that Black brides are adequately represented. Apparently, I'm not the only one.

As much as I can identify with lots of brides, it's always nice to see someone that looks like you or may share a similar cultural background. It's not that I can't identify with women different from me either. For example, one of my favorite Bees of all time was Mrs. Hummingbird. I can't imagine someone so different from me, but I was totally feeling her!

Also I've got a particular problem with finding resources because of my hair (more on that later). The wedding world does not really offer many resources for women with (dread)locs. :) I do have some ideas that I am excited to share with you and will do so in later posts. Don't start me on make-up....oy!

Instead of complaining, I figured that I would take matters into my own hands. I started blogging as much for myself as well as for the faint hope that someone else would find some helpful information and inspiration from something I posted. I've added some resources for Black brides below that I found and thought were interesting. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but all are definitely worth a look. If anyone has found more, please share!

That being said, for my short time here on Wedding Bee I want to blog about this wedding process as it relates to ALL women. I think that while we've got a universal experience as people transitioning into marriage, there are going to be some variations on how we experience this time in our lives and what we need to do to prepare for the day.

Besides, I don't want anyone to feel left out.

Here are those helpful links I mentioned:

African American Brides - a good general blog.

African American Wedding Hairstyles - a great place for hair inspiration. The great thing about this blog is that it includes pics for Black women with ALL types of hair textures from long straightened hair to locs to two-strand twists and afros.

Brown and Bridal - an online community with emphasis on its message boards. They've also got bloggers too.

Afrobella - a great general blog for Black women with an emphasis on natural hair and make-up and beauty tips. I'm a bit of a make-up/beauty products dunce and have learned quite a bit here.