April 6, 2010

Never a Bridesmaid?

So there's the saying, "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride," but what if you're like me? I've never been a bridesmaid!!! Yes, that's right. I've never gotten the chance to look like this:

Katherine Heigl, you look maaaarvelous, daahling...just not in this.

Sadly, my closet occasionally looks like this, and I don't have 27 bridesmaid dresses in it!

For my adult life,* I have never had the privilege of being a bridesmaid. I've never planned a bachelorette party; held the bouquet for a friend while she's said her vows; or planned a bridal shower. The sad part is that as I get older, it's looking like there is a strong possibility that I may not have this experience. Part of me is sad about that, but another part of me is wondering if that may not be such a bad thing.

Please don't think I am hating on the concept of being a bridesmaid. I actually think it's a very amazing honor bestowed on a friend or a loved one. By being a bridesmaid, you're in a position to be a source of support and comfort for that special bride in your life during what can be a busy and stressful time.

As much as I know all of this, I've also come to realize that I am not in the prime position for being asked to even be a bridesmaid 'cause:

1. I'm essentially an only child. No siblings means less chance to be in at least one wedding.

2. I've got a small group of friends. I love my friends. I may not have oodles of them, but the ones I do have I LOVE. They are an amazing group of primarily women who awe me on the regular. They just don't have me in their bridal parties :) But seriously, I'm also the type to spend quality time with two to three people at a time and not really prone to being a part of big groups of friends. I guess less friends automatically lowers the chances of a bridesmaid invite, huh?

3. Most of my good friends have had the small city hall or destination wedding; have an army of sisters and female cousins who take priority over me; or went the "no bridal party" route like I did. As a group, we're also pushing further and further into our 30's and simplicity in life and relationships seems to be taking priority over tradition. I really feel many of my unmarried friends will choose to forgo the bridal party option. Maybe someone will prove me wrong?

I don't know why this is coming up now. Okay, that's a lie. I do. :) A recently engaged BFF actually didn't ask me to be a part of her wedding party. She'll have her sister and one other friend. At first, I was a bit taken off guard and kinda disappointed. Mr. Swan even mentioned that I shouldn't even be caring about ever being a bridesmaid because I've already had the ultimate wedding experience: I've been a bride! I know that I am getting back what I put out into the universe, since I didn't have a bridal party of my own. Ahhh, darn you, Bridal Karma!

After awhile to think about it, I'm actually almost a little psyched about not being chosen as a part of the wedding party. I didn't really understand my own change of heart at first, but now I feel like there is a bit of freedom in my continued bridesmaid virginity: no dress I may or may not like; some nice cost savings; and not having to think at all (just celebrate) the day of the wedding. In the end I guess it doesn't seem so bad, right?

Is there anyone else out there who has never been a bridesmaid and has the odds stacked against their chance of achieving Bridesmaid-dom? Am I missing an important life experience? Let me know!

*I was a junior bridesmaid in my aunt's wedding when I was twelve. I just stood there and looked cute. When I was eighteen, I did the same thing for a family friend who seemed to need some warm bodies to have an even bridal party. Her fiance had seven brothers or something like that. In both cases, I didn't really do much. I don't count these though, but should I?

1 comment:

Franke said...

When I get married, you can be part of my wedding party. All my close friends are married. I don't think they would want to be bridesmaids.