Fighting with My Body

With the wedding days away, I've had two nights in a row of insomnia. The problem is that it's not just the wedding on my mind: I've got this tricky career move decision I'm mulling over; Mr. Swan has all of a sudden gotten a flurry of interviews (YAY!!!); and work travel keeps flaring up again even though it was supposed to stop over a month ago (I am technically scheduled to be away for a day two days before the wedding, but it's not clear. I am NOT happy).

This isn't a new pattern for me though. Whenever there are big life changes around the corner, or if I am in the midst of major change, my mind races and sleep goes out the window. What's annoying is that this actually makes me extra emotional and more prone to freak out. At the very least I'm eating well and actually exercising, but sleep would be nice.

When wedding stress reaches its highest levels for you, does your body react? How do you deal with it? Are there any other bride insomniacs out there?

Bacheloretting in Brooklyn - Release (Part 3 )

We'd relaxed at the spa, ate good food, and then we proceeded to partake in the ever popular dance portion of the bachelorette party. You all know I love to dance, so I didn't mind this part of the evening at all except for the fact that all of us were yawning by the end of dinner. :) I guess this is what happens when you reach the 30+ age range? We all definitely joked about the fact that we were all little shells of our former partying selves to some extent. Therefore, the car ride over to Williamsburg, Brooklyn consisted of opening windows for some fresh air to keep us awake and calling each other out for yawning. :)

Of course by the time we got to Bembe in Williamsburg and the music hit us, were were okay. Bembe primarily plays a mix of Latin music (I guess we had to keep the Latin theme running) so there was steady mix of salsa, samba and merengue with some dance classics thrown in for good measure. I have not been out dancing in a LOOONNNGG time, but somehow remembered how to dance. :)

A mojito on the dancefloor

Ike and I tearing it up. Go, Ike!

Being an old fogey, I proclaimed the night over at 1:30am (we started at 3pm, so it was time to get some beauty rest).

I feel like dancing is the universal element in a bachelorette party, but maybe I'm wrong. Did anyone NOT have dancing as part of their bachelorette event or is it just such a traditional element that you couldn't give it up?

Bacheloretting in Brooklyn - Relate (Part 2)

After getting super relaxed at the spa, the ladies and I were ready to get our grub on. We walked a few blocks away to Luz, a Pan Latin restaurant. I've been to Luz before and really enjoyed the meal, so I was definitely excited to come back. We started off with some great appetizers consisting of amazing arepas (sweet corn and cheese cakes more like fritters), a trio of ceviches (my favorite being the langosta passion: lobster, passion fruit, mango citrus sauce and aji amarillo). Between those and a great caipirinha (Brazilian rum, muddled limes and sugar), I was feeling pretty darn good. 

We had a great time over dinner. The wonderful thing about my group of friends is that they got along and had lively, engaging conversation even though they didn't all know each other well.  It was so nice to catch up with them since a couple in the group actually don't live in NYC. I was so grateful that they'd made the trip. One thing my bachelorette made me realize is that while I have a small group of friends, they are an amazing group of women. Our time together that night made me appreciate them even more for the interesting, sweet women they are. I guess the quality versus quantity saying is pretty true. 

Here's Ike and Mitts (not their real names and I wish they both lived in NYC)

Here I am with Special K, my bachelorette party planning extraordinaire.

We got our main courses and were really excited to eat our meals. Two of us got the San Pedro which included a banana leaf-wrapped tilapia with lemograss-coconut sauce, mofongo (a Latin Caribbean dish of mashed fried green plantain often mixed with the meat, fish or vegetables; in our case it was shrimp..I think) and charred string beans. 

I had the Quinoto, which consisted of grilled jumbo shrimp, quinoa with something in it that made it taste amazing (I should have asked) and grilled asparagus.

We had great desserts that included a molten chocolate cake and a lovely guava tart with cheese ice cream. 

For me, good food and good conversation is my kind of celebration. 

Did you include a nice meal as part of your bachelorette event? 

Bacheloretting in Brooklyn - Relax (Part 1)

When I wrote about having a bachelorette party way back when, I didn't think I would actually have one. I am not into particularly "bride-y" things, and the idea of penis pops, a tiara and boa didn't sound fun to me. I will admit though I love watching ladies out on bachelorette parties at night doing those things. :) I really just wanted to have a nice, low-key evening with my friends especially since my girl time has been in pretty short supply lately. 

After writing my post, I got a great suggestion from Weddingbee reader, Jenny. I'm gonna have to make a special Shout Out to her because she recommended that I check out Body by Brooklyn. It's a new spa in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn not too far away from my apartment.

I loved the idea of their private room for my ladies to chill out. In addition to the private room you also have access to their wet lounge/sauna area with two types of saunas, a jacuzzi and a plunge pool. My primary motivation for going there was that I wanted us to have a private space (plus if I can make people come out to Brooklyn I will...hee hee!!)  I think what sets it apart is the fact that they have a bar. You can even have brunch there! (Although it's my understanding that Great Jones Spa in Greenwich Village has one too). We didn't really have the food except for the snacks they gave us, which weere alright by me. It consisted of great cheese, grilled veggies, crackers, strawberries, petit fours and some sparkly wine...YUM!

Since I don't have a bridal party, I got the help of my friend Special K to organize everyone. We had some last minute cancellations due to people having to travel for business, etc. but I was fine with our very small group. 

Here we are settling into the room. My friend, Becks (not her real name) is trying out the flat screen. 

Pretty much it was a whole lotta girl talk. My friend, Ike (not her real name either), was telling a pretty funny story here. I don't think I want to retell it. After  awhile, I was told that I was being whisked away to get massage, which was a special treat from the ladies. I have been so busy with things I completely forgot that I was going to a spa and didn't book anything for myself! I was pretty grateful to say the least. 

After my lovely massage, we played a brief game. I couldn't believe that I could not answer some of the questions that were asked about Mr. Swan. Oops! It's good to know that you love your Mom's pumpkin pie, honey. Have you mentioned this before, Mr. Swan?

I also got to open some gifts. Since I don't want to get Mrs. Bee in trouble and change the nature of this site, I won't divulge what I got. 

Yeah..I'll keep that to myself. 

Anyway, we had a nice time, and I was glad to incorporate some quiet downtime with the ladies. 

Up next: some darn good food 'cause it ain't a night out without a good meal. Do you expect anything less from me? :)

Did anyone incorporate a spa experience into their bachelorette event?  

A Tale of a Hair Trial - The Rough Draft (Part 1)

For a variety of reasons I'm just getting around to having my initial hair trials. My hairstylist and I call this the "rough draft" in part because my hair is in a bit of a state. It's about time for me to get my hair did, and so there is a lot of growth at the roots. I'll explain this at some point, but just know that you really can't get the full effect of my hair when it's in its "frizzy/needs to be attended to" stage. 

After lots of thought regarding logistics, I decided I wanted to not curl my hair but to instead keep it straight and wear it up. As I mentioned before, my hair takes about two to three hours to just to do the basics. If I had it curled, it would definitely add an hour. Since we're having a late morning wedding and  hoping to do some pictures beforehand, I'm not waking up at 3am. Heck to nah, y'all! Plus we've for our welcome drinks that I mentioned before, so Friday night is out in terms of getting a hair appointment then. Right now the plan is to split things up by getting my hair washed and retwisted the day before and then getting my hair pinned up in the morning bright and early. 

So shall we begin? After looking at some of my inspiration photos again I narrowed it down to  couple that I thought would work best. 

Here's contestant #1

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 I love Sanaa Lathan (and so does Mr. Swan..ahem!) My stylist said that she could recreate styles with straightened hair, which she did. So here's the rough draft:

Not a bad replica I think. You can see the frizzies, huh? I liked it but was not sure. I then added the veil...

Before I show you, I should let you know that I have not become one with my veil. Yes, it's a Kasia Fink original (thanks, Mrs. Sea Breeze) and while lovely, I'm definitely trying to make sure that I'm putting it on correctly in part because my hair doesn't necessarily take to most hairpieces. There's a reason why I don't wear many things in my hair. I love my veil (thanks again), but in general I find things that can actually be inserted in my hair  can be hard to find, and I had to be careful about choosing things with certain types of clips. I always e-mailed any hairpiece seller beforehand to ask what kind of clip was attached to the piece.

Anyway, here's the first style with the veil. 

That little fascinator looking thing on the top is actually a headpiece from Portobello. My stylist kinda just stuck it in there. I had not intended to wear the veil and the fascinator/headpiece together, but maybe I will. What do you think? 

Here's contestant #2

Let me say that this is the style that has captured my attention since I first saw it. 

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I'm pleased with the result, and I am leaning towards this. Here's the real life trial version:

Hopefully the right side will look a little better the second time around. 

I didn't do a very good job  with the veil this time around. Here's this style with the veil:

The fascinator/headpiece is in a funky place too. Hmm....I'll need to work on that. I plan on becoming one with the veil if it kills me. I wasn't sure how I felt about the placement, and I think it's going to require me playing around with it. 

I went home and put on the headpiece without the veil to see how that looked. I liked it. I was thinking about just wearing the headpiece during the reception. I think I'll be veil-less for that part of the wedding.

I think that the clip on the headpiece works pretty well with my hair. It's an alligator clip. 

Anyway, that's it. Like I said, it's a good beginning. I will be going back for a more full run through that will include actually washing and retwisting my hair. I think some of you are probably wondering how that all works, so I will maybe show you how.

Did you have multiple hair trials? What was the hair trial process like for you? 

Mini-Moonin' It

As I am sure that I mentioned before, we're not really sure if and when we'll be taking a full-fledged honeymoon. Between lack of ample vacation time for me and no job yet for the Mr., we're still hoping that we can find our way overseas for an adventure and some relaxation sometime soon in the future. Instead we'll be taking some time away after the wedding to Newport, Rhode Island. Why Newport? Well it's got the makings for an easy and low-cost mini-moon since it's Mr. Swan's home state. Here's why:

1) a free place to stay in Mr. Swan's family apartment house there (don't worry they don't live there too. They live in a separate town.);

2) we can borrow one of the family cars;

3) Newport is not that far of a drive from NYC, and we'll be driving there with the FFIL and FMIL Swan the day after the wedding; 

4) Plus it looks like this in the summer time:

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I will admit to you that I was not very excited that Mr. Swan suggested we even go to Newport. For one, in addition to being Miss Swan, I like to also think of myself as Miss Adventure. I'd already been to Newport for an afternoon with him, so I kinda figured that maybe we wouldn't have much left to see. Also going to Rhode Island is not really all that new for me, since I've been going there to visit friends who lived there for years even before I'd met Mr. Swan. To me, it was just going to be another trip to Rhodey (Rhode Island brides, please forgive me!).

Anyway, I recently started to research our trip, and I've actually started to get really excited about some of the things we'll be able to do there. For one, we'll get to see fabulous homes.

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Of course one of the most well-known aspects of a visit to Newport is the collection of gorgeous mansions. You can take tours of these old stately homes that have been restored to their former glory.  These "summer cottages" (yeah, y'all these are just the summer homes) were built by wealthy and prominent families like the Vanderbilts. I think I'll enjoy a little history lesson on our trip. 

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Newport also has wonderful restaurants especially those featuring fresh seafood. I actually went to the one pictured above my first time in Newport. They've got really good chowder. I'm marrying a born and raised New Englander, so I better like me some chowder. :)  

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Newport is also known for its harbor and its sailing activities. Some consider it the sailing capital of the U.S. (maybe even the world) because it's hosted the America's Cup sailing race so many times. Mr. Swan wants to take a harbor cruise for the first time since he was a kid.  He spent most of his childhood years on a boat in the summer time especially around the Newport area, so it will be fun to be able to share this experience with him. 

Unfortunately, we will miss the Newport Jazz Festival again this year. It's too bad because I'd love to see (or hear, I guess) Chaka Khan, Branford Marsalis and even Tony Bennett. Maybe next year!

Are you mini-moonin' it too? Where are you going, and what aspects of your trip are you looking forward to?  

Also does anyone have any Newport recs for me? I know Mr. Swan is a native, but it's always cool to hear others' picks. Thanks in advance!

Dear Old Dad

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Steve Martin is not my Dad, but he's seems like such a sweetie in this movie.

I've never seen "Father of the Bride", and I should not be admitting that as a wedding blogger, should I? :)

I don't really know how to begin this post as it is intensely personal for me. My relationship with my Dad is not really a strong one. While my Dad is a nice guy, we are not close. He has not played a major role in my life. He and Mommy Swan never got married, and Mommy Swan has been my parent, both mother and father. 

I have always been pretty nonchalant about my Dad and our relationship. We speak several times throughout the year, but I would not say that I share my hopes, fears and dreams with him. I don't call him when I need a shoulder to cry on; our conversations are pretty much about regular everyday things. It also doesn't help that he lives in the Caribbean, so there is a certain amount of physical distance between the two of us that already adds to the distance in our relationship. 

When it comes to wedding planning, I have always been a bit jealous of brides who gush about having their fathers walk them down the aisle and can't wait to have the father/daughter dance at the wedding. That's not necessarily me. It's been hard trying to figure out how to walk a fine line between wanting to include my Dad out of respect and wanting to also recognize that our relationship is not necessarily a traditional one. It's made for some planning conundrums for me. Does my Dad walk me down the aisle with Mommy Swan? Does he stand with Mommy Swan as the rest of our immediate families will during the ceremony? Do we do a father/daughter dance with the requisite tender emotional song?  All of this got to me so much that I kinda broke down and cried visiting Mommy Swan one afternoon. 

There's already so much emotion fraught with weddings because it is so public. I usually don't have to display my relationship with my Dad for all to see and now I do. How have I decided to handle this?  Well, my Dad lives in the Caribbean, so it's still not clear that he will make it to the wedding. We're hoping so. The plan is that he'll walk me down the aisle with my Mom, and we'll have a parent dance together with Mr. Swan and FMIL Swan. I think this will be a good way of incorporating him into the wedding in a way that I'll feel comfortable. 

Have interesting family dynamics influenced your wedding planning?