February 28, 2009


I thought this, and the comments were interesting.

I'm sad but not surprised. I've been mulling about whether to apply to do this or not. I had a post planned today, but I am just too conflicted (well not conflicted...upset). If people don't care whether or not you're represented, maybe you shouldn't bother? 

I've felt for all of my life that I've had to struggle for people just to notice that my voice and experience are interesting too. Yes, we may not be the same but I have something to offer that is just as valuable and that you may be able to glean something from it. Fundamentally, we all can offer something. There are ways to connect while appreciating another's culture or perspective. 

Yes, not everyone is going to have an Afrocentric wedding with some of the traditions I've outlined this month, but there are people out there who will. There are people out there who don't have certain hair textures or skin tones. Have you ever skipped an entire hair and beauty section of a women's magazine? I usually have to because most of the makeup wouldn't look right on me even if I wanted it to. The hair tips...um, no. 

Anyway, I'm tired....I'm still mulling what to do (I feel the need to do something whether to stop reading the blog altogether or to apply to blog)...but I'm just tired. 

Thanks, Mr. CPF for being supportive this morning as I yelled out my frustrations. Even with our differences, you still make an attempt to understand who am I and what my experiences have been. For that I love and appreciate you. 


Patti said...

I feel you. I first caught wind of that post last night before bed, and knew that people were going to say some pretty ridiculous things. I haven't been disappointed yet. I thought long and hard about my comment, and knew that there were some larger issues that people were glossing over (which is typical).

Anyway, that's not why I stopped by to post. I wanted to comment because I think you should apply. I applied a few weeks ago and havent heard back yet.

You're right, people may not be planning Afrocentric weddings (I'm not), but some are. Those that are would appreciate the information. Those that aren't would appreciate seeing another face that's a little more like theirs. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

Mrs. Andi said...

I think you should apply! Your perspective is very interesting (not different, we're all different!) & topical. In this day & age when brides are doing literally whatever they want, there are going to be many brides out there who want to use many of your ideas but may not have any idea about how to go about doing them. You can offer some great suggestions & advice. & even if a bride doesn't follow your format exactly, your take on your wedding can be very helpful to future brides.

Mr. Bee said...

You should definitely apply!

I hope you are not upset with Bee for writing the post... she wanted to get people talking about diversity and representation. We can't control what everyone says in their comments, but we work really hard to listen to everyone and try to make the site better. :-)

I noticed you mentioned possibly stopping reading the blog altogether... I hope that doesn't turn out to be the case! If you'd like to discuss further over email, you can always find me at john at weddingbee dot com.

All the best,
Mr. Bee

Lillindy said...

You have a really great blog here! I really think you should apply because it will bring a much needed perspective to the site. =o)

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African-American Brides said...

I know exactly how you feel. The entire issue can be SO exasperating. At times a girl almost wants to opt-out of the back-and-forth. But, you know, I think you would be a good candidate! I don't know you personally but I drop in on your blog from time to time and you're always updating with something new. It sounds like your level of dedication and creativity is exactly what they're looking for. If you have the time and energy, I'd encourage you to apply. :)

D'orsay said...

I think you should definitely apply. Although I'm not exactly culturally diverse (us/uk) it's one of the reasons I wanted to apply the most.

Going through the immigration process combined with marriage and adding a wedding (while trying to figure out which continent to live on) is complicated. I wanted other people in the same situation to know they're not alone and for people who aren't an international couple to understand the process better. I really enjoy reading about other culture's wedding customs - in fact they're some of the posts I enjoy the most. I really do hope you continue blogging and apply. <3

Miss Rye Bread said...

I know this is a little late, but I'm glad you applied!
I was getting stuffy reading about all the "normal" weddings on the 'bee.
I don't come from a culturally diverse background, but I'm super interested to learn about yours, and how it's factoring into your wedding plans!