June 4, 2009

Will It Be NICE?/Lamentations of a Wedding Blogger

I’ve been having a hard time lately. I’ve been feeling kinda insecure about my wedding. As I am sure you’ve seen from my posts I do love weddings, but I’ve been feeling a little weird about mine.  One of the first reactions when I found out that I got picked to be a Bee quickly went from “Yay! How amazing!!” to “Oh #%@$, Mr. Swan!  People are going to be looking at my wedding!!” I mean I was now a wedding blogger at that very moment. Being a wedding blogger, I do feel some pressure to have this totally cool and interesting wedding, ya know? I know that for many people my wedding may have some of the little pretty details but compared to my fellow Bees and you, dear readers, I kinda feel a bit…..inadequate. I know you all are not whispering Kate Hudson’s line from “Bride Wars” about your weddings kicking my wedding’s butt (at least I hope not), but I think you can’t help compare too, right?

It’s not that I haven’t tried to fight being worried about how my wedding will be perceived by all of you super crafty, creative folks out there or anyone else for that matter. I am creative, but weddings require and emphasize a certain ability that gives a great advantage to you visual artists out there.  I’m not one of you (I'm a dancer); I can sort of tell how the wedding will come together, but at this point it’s all a guess for me. I’m sure you’re sick of hearing me say that I don’t craft. :) 

Right now I am not planning many of the amazing little details that many of you are: pretty programs, special favors and you’ve already seen my invitations. Maybe that will change at the last minute. I’m kinda worried that my recap posts will not be particularly interesting or that my wedding just won’t be….nice.  At moments, my emotional state ranges from Mrs. Cheese during her "moment" way back when and Mrs. Peep Toe’s ability to step away from the details.

Right now, I’m going to take another blogger’s advice and chill out about having a "nice wedding," but it’s hard with the wedding about two months away.

Anyone else in the same boat?

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